FILIPINO JOKES

FROM: pinoy jokes

ITSER: Juan late ka na nman, lagi na lang! Feeling mo bright ka! Ok tingnan natin, who's our National Hero?

JUAN: Jose Rizal mam!

TITSER: Nakatsamba ah!

JUAN: Ikaw mam, kilala mo si SONYA?

TITSER: Hindi, sino sya?

JUAN: Yan kasi puro ka aral, kabet yon nang asawa mo!

Erap Jokes

WAITER: sir, do you want me to cut your pizza into 4 slices or 8 slices?
.
.
.
.
. ERAP: into four na lang, masyadong marami yung eight. di ko mauubos.

JUDGE: Ano ba talaga nangyari?

ERAP: ? (di nagsasalita)

JUDGE: Sumagot ka sa tanong.

ERAP: Naman eh!!! Kala ko ba hearing lang to??? Bakit may speaking?

ERAP: sugurin ang Amerika
SUNDALO: Sir yes sir.
(Natalo ng mga sundalo ang mga amerikano)
ERAP: Sugurin ang china magpadala ka ng 100 sundalo
SUNDALO: Sir yes sir!
(Nanalo ang pilipinas laban sa china)
ERAP: hmmm! Japan naman mahina lang ang japan magpadala ka ng sampung Jet
SUNDALO: Sir yes sir
(Bumalik yung sampung piloto)
ERAP: Bakit kayo bumalik??
MGA PILOTO: Sir may sumigaw kasi ng LET'S VOLT IN!

PICK UP LINE FOR BOYS

FROM:TAGALOG PICK UP LINES FOR GIRLS YO USE ON BOYS

Motolite Battery
Motolite ka ba? Bakit? Kasi trusted na pangmatagalan! (Are you a Motolite? Why? Because you’re trusted to last.) Motolite is an automobile and industrial battery. It’s tag-line is “ Motolite pang-matagalan!”

Surname
Walang permanente sa mundo. Kaya asahan mo pagdating ng panahon, apelyedo mo na ang gamit ko. (Nothing’s permanent in the world. So except that when the time comes, I’ll be using your last name.)

Jose Rizal
Girl: Ang laki ng pinagkaiba nyo ni Rizal. Boy: bakit? Girl: Kasi si Rizal nasa piso. Pero ikaw nasa puso ko.(Girl: There’s a big difference between you and Rizal. Boy: Why? Girl: Because Rizal is on the peso, but you are on my heart.) Jose Rizal is the country’s national hero. He’s famous for writing many propagandas, speaking many languages, and triggering the uprising against Spanish conquistadores in a quest for independence.

Hide-and-seek
Maglaro tayo ng kahit ano, wag lang taguan. Bakit? Kasi “A Boy like you is impossible to find” (Let’s play anything, but not hide-and-seek. Why? Because “A boy like you is impossible to find ) This one’s inspired by a Fall For You song lyric.

Superman
Superman ka ba? SUPERMANhid ka kasi, di mo maramdaman na mahal kita. (Are you Superman? Because you’re SUPERMANhid, you don’t feel that I love you.)
When I Grow Up
Boy: Pag laki ko, gusto ko maging Engineer. Eh ikaw? Girl: Paglaki ko, gusto ko maging sa’yo! (Boy: When I grow up, I want to be an Engineer. How about you? Girl: When I grow up, I want to be yours.)

Howling Dog
Girl: aso ka ba ? boy: bakit ? Girl: sinaktan mo kasi puso ko. Boy : asan yung aso dun ?
Girl : AWWWW !!! (Girl: Are you a dog? Boy: Why? Girl: You hurt my heart. Boy: Where’s the dog there? Girl: AWWW!!!) This one’s cute and funny at the same time.

Finding Nemo
Si Nemo ka ba? Lagi na lang kitang hinahanap. (Are you Nemo? I’m always looking for you.)
Growing Up
Tumatangkad ka ah! Dati hanggang dito ka lang. Ngayon nasa isip na kita. (Hey, You’re growing taller! Before, you were just up until here. Now, you’re in my mind.)

Ghost
Multo ka ba??? Kase pag nakikita kita bumibilis tibok ng puso ko eh. (Are you a ghost? Cause when I see you, my heart beats fast.)
 

Walang permanente sa mundo. Kaya asahan mo pagdating ng panahon, apelyedo mo na ang gamit ko. boy: hi girl: hello boy: i love you :’> girl: iLoveyoutoo boy: Sira ba spacebar mo? gir;l: HINDI, wala lang akong space, para magmahal pa ng iba. Girl: Ang laki ng pinagkaiba nyo ni Rizal. Boy: bakit? Girl: Kasi si Rizal nasa piso. Pero ikaw nasa puso ko. SURGEON ka ba? Kasi ikaw lang ang nakapagbukas ng puso ko. Sana MAGNET na lang tayo… Para lagi tayong magkasama. Maglaro tayo ng kahit ano, wag lang taguan. Bakit? Kasi “A Boy like you is impossible to find” gulong ka ba? kasi i ‘wheel’ love you till i die. Pwede ba kitang abutin? ikaw kasi ang pangarap ko mekaniko ka ba? kailangan ko kasi ng magkukumpuni ng puso ko.

Read more at: http://messages.365greetings.com/tagalog/pickup-lines/tagalog-pick-up-lines-for-boys.html | Holiday Messages, Greetings and Wishes

Walang permanente sa mundo. Kaya asahan mo pagdating ng panahon, apelyedo mo na ang gamit ko. boy: hi girl: hello boy: i love you :’> girl: iLoveyoutoo boy: Sira ba spacebar mo? gir;l: HINDI, wala lang akong space, para magmahal pa ng iba. Girl: Ang laki ng pinagkaiba nyo ni Rizal. Boy: bakit? Girl: Kasi si Rizal nasa piso. Pero ikaw nasa puso ko. SURGEON ka ba? Kasi ikaw lang ang nakapagbukas ng puso ko. Sana MAGNET na lang tayo… Para lagi tayong magkasama. Maglaro tayo ng kahit ano, wag lang taguan. Bakit? Kasi “A Boy like you is impossible to find” gulong ka ba? kasi i ‘wheel’ love you till i die. Pwede ba kitang abutin? ikaw kasi ang pangarap ko mekaniko ka ba? kailangan ko kasi ng magkukumpuni ng puso ko.

Read more at: http://messages.365greetings.com/tagalog/pickup-lines/tagalog-pick-up-lines-for-boys.html | Holiday Messages, Greetings and Wishes

Walang permanente sa mundo. Kaya asahan mo pagdating ng panahon, apelyedo mo na ang gamit ko. boy: hi girl: hello boy: i love you :’> girl: iLoveyoutoo boy: Sira ba spacebar mo? gir;l: HINDI, wala lang akong space, para magmahal pa ng iba. Girl: Ang laki ng pinagkaiba nyo ni Rizal. Boy: bakit? Girl: Kasi si Rizal nasa piso. Pero ikaw nasa puso ko. SURGEON ka ba? Kasi ikaw lang ang nakapagbukas ng puso ko. Sana MAGNET na lang tayo… Para lagi tayong magkasama. Maglaro tayo ng kahit ano, wag lang taguan. Bakit? Kasi “A Boy like you is impossible to find” gulong ka ba? kasi i ‘wheel’ love you till i die. Pwede ba kitang abutin? ikaw kasi ang pangarap ko mekaniko ka ba? kailangan ko kasi ng magkukumpuni ng puso ko.

Read more at: http://messages.365greetings.com/tagalog/pickup-lines/tagalog-pick-up-lines-for-boys.html | Holiday Messages, Greetings and Wishes

Walang permanente sa mundo. Kaya asahan mo pagdating ng panahon, apelyedo mo na ang gamit ko. boy: hi girl: hello boy: i love you :’> girl: iLoveyoutoo boy: Sira ba spacebar mo? gir;l: HINDI, wala lang akong space, para magmahal pa ng iba. Girl: Ang laki ng pinagkaiba nyo ni Rizal. Boy: bakit? Girl: Kasi si Rizal nasa piso. Pero ikaw nasa puso ko. SURGEON ka ba? Kasi ikaw lang ang nakapagbukas ng puso ko. Sana MAGNET na lang tayo… Para lagi tayong magkasama. Maglaro tayo ng kahit ano, wag lang taguan. Bakit? Kasi “A Boy like you is impossible to find” gulong ka ba? kasi i ‘wheel’ love you till i die. Pwede ba kitang abutin? ikaw kasi ang pangarap ko

Read more at: http://messages.365greetings.com/tagalog/pickup-lines/tagalog-pick-up-lines-for-boys.html | Holiday Messages, Greetings and Wishes

  

PICK-UP LINES FOR GIRLS COLLECTION

FROM:TAGALOG PICK UP FOR GIRLS

Centrum ka ba? Kasi, you make my life complete!

Nakakapagod naman umupo, miss, pwede bang tayo na lang?

Inii-small ka ba nila? Don’t worry babe, inii-BIG naman kita…

Alam mo naisip ko lang, ang pinakamasarap na feeling sa mundo?…ay makafeeling ka..

Mukha kang magaling sa Algebra, can you substitute my X?

Hindi ka ba nalulungkot miss, nag-iisa ka lang sa heart ko eh.

I realized lang, hindi lahat ng humihinga ay buhay, tingnan mo ko humihinga pero patay na patay sayo.

No offense ha,  driver ka ba? Ikaw na agad nagpapatakbo ng buhay ko eh.

Kung umasta ka feeling mo amo kita! Bakit mo inaalila puso ko?

Ang yabang mo, siguro iniisip mo bobo ako…masasabi mo bang bobo ako kung ikaw lang naman laman ng isip ko?

Hi, I’m Antok, dadalawin kita gabi gabi ha.

Hi, gusto lang kita galitin, pero sana naman patulan mo ko.

PICK-UP LINES COLLECTION

FROM:  PINOY PICK-UP LINES

• "Utang ka ba? Kasi habang tumatagal, lumalaki INTERES ko sayo." SONIC BOOM!
• "Are you a dictionary?  Coz you add meaning to my life."
•  "Espanyol ka ba? Sinakop mo kasi puso ko." SPANBOOM!
• "I lost my number. Can I have yours?" DISCOBOOM!
• "Christmas ka ba? Kasi I wanna merry u! "- BOOM NA BOOM!
• "I forgot your name. Can I call you mine?" WATTABOOM!
• "Ice ka ba? - crush kita, okay lang?" aweeh!
• "Password ka ba?  Di kasi kita makalimutan eh." BOOM!
• "Punta tayo sa sementeryo...bakit? Dalawin natin ang puso ko na patay na patay sayo." Boom!
• “Google ka ba? Kasi lahat ng hinahanap ko, natagpuan ko sa ‘yo.” BOOM.COM!
• "Crayola ka ba? Kasi nagbibigay ka ng kulay sa buhay ko." BOOM NA BOOM!
• "EDSA ka ba?  Di kasi ako makapagmove on." BOOMBOOM!
• "Bangin ka ba?  Nahulog kasi ako sa'yo." KABOOM!
• "May butas ba yang puso mo?  Natrap kasi ako, can't find my way out." !BOOM
• "Pustiso ka ba? Kasi I can't smile without you." NAKUBOOM!
•  "Miss, alam mo ba? Hindi tayo Tao, hindi tayo Hayop, at hindi rin tayo Halaman, Bagay tayo, Bagay."
• "Nabibingi ka na ba? Coz my heart has been screaming out your name for quite some time now.."
• "Centrum ka ba? Kasi you make my life complete!!" ABOOM!
• "Exam ka ba? Gustong gusto na kasi kitang i-take home eh!" find answer muna.
• "Pwede ba kita maging driver? Para ikaw na magpapatakbo ng buhay ko.."
• "Tapos na ba ung exam mo? Para ako nman sagutin mo.." boom!
• "Ok lang na ako ang magbayad ng tuition fee mo..? Basta pag-aralan mo lang akong mahalin."
•  "May lisensya ka ba? Coz you're driving me crazy.." BALIW BOY!

TYPES OF HOUSES

IN THE PHILIPPINES

HOUSES

made in bamboo house,this hype of house is not expensive

you can avail it or you can have this for low cost.. a very comfortable house not hot but in normal temperature..

a very nice house and very nice home..

 

 

made in bamboo house also on the top of the sea very nice to leave 

and perfect for summer vacation..

 

 

 

 

 

 

Broken Hearted?

 heart broken is the one of the heartiest problem   in life..

because of broken hearted some people suicide or they give up because they feel

super hearted.

Quotes About Broken Heart

“For my part, I prefer my heart to be broken. It is so lovely, dawn-kaleidoscopic within the crack.”
― D.H. Lawrence

“I was blind and heart broken and didn't want to do anything and Gus burst into my room and shouted, "I have wonderful news!" And I was like, "I don't really want to hear wonderful news right now," and Gus said, "This is wonderful news you want to hear," and I asked him, "Fine, what is it?" and he said, "You are going to live a good and long life filled with great and terrible moments that you cannot even imagine yet!”
― John Green, The Fault in Our Stars

“As Qhuinn looked at his best friend's handsome face, he felt as if he'd never not known that red hair, those blue eyes, those lips, that jaw. And it was because of their long history that he searched for something to say, something that would get them back to where they had been. All that came to him was . . . I miss you. I miss you so fucking bad it hurts, but I don't know how to find you even though you're right in front of me.”
― J.R. Ward, Lover Mine

 

 

 but don't give up because that's life 

that is part of life part of our challenge a part of our trials to be strong in this world..

 

courting a girl/ manguyab sa baye

If you courting a girl you must always good looking for him and have a sense humor

so that the girl will not bored on you,so the will full in love in the way you courting

in courting you must always preparing a pickup line so the girls lough and kilig on you..

sample pick up lines for courting from(pick up lines tagalog)

Geometry ba ang favorite subject mo? – Kasi kahit anong angle, ang ganda mo eh.

“Teleserye ka ba? – Kasi ang sarap mong subaybayan at lagi kitang inaabangan.”

Mahilig ka ba magluto na pancit canton? – Kasi pag kasama kita, feeling ko “LUCKY ME”.

Pwede bang magpa-picture kasama ka? – Para naman ma-develop tayo!

Christmas ka ba? – Kasi I wanna merry you!

Lover boy

A lover boy you must have a proper attitude and always good looking of the girls

be a confident guy,you must always prepare a joke to lough the girls 

you must always nice talking not boring..

you must a good sense humor....

pamatay

pickup line of (halo halong pinoy)

Lason ka ba? kasi nakahanda akong mamatay matikman ka lang.

TOYO ka ba? kasi I dedicate all my love TOYO!

Pwede ba kitang abutin? kasi ikaw ang Pangarap ko eh.

Anong PANULAT ang gamit mo? di kasi kita mabura sa isip ko eh.
 

that's the way you are....

AS A SIMPLE GUY

A simple guy is always in positive not to ignorant in the environment

A simple guy is always wearing a proper attire for everyday use 

be cool proper act not hassle in others and have a confident in life..

"simple student"

If  you are a student wear a proper uniform to have a good looking

in school days,

be gentle guy not "hambog" so you have a good image in your classmate and others..

part of that is to study smart and work hard in school..

"simple tambay"

If  you are "tambay" you must always wearing proper wear

to have a good and have nice looking to community..

have a proper act not be "adik"..

be cool..

 

 

 

THE LIFE AND SUCCESS

  We all know that life  is full of PROBLEMS,CHALLENGES and SACRIFICES but we also know  that life Is full of enjoyment..

From the song of RIVERMAYA in titled:

( ILOG)

From the lyrics of the SONG:

 ANG BUHAY KO AY ISANG ILOG UMAAGOS TUNGO SA LAOT , SA PAGDALOY AY LUMILIKO-LIKO NGUNIT DAGAT PARIN  ANG INAABOT

IT SAYS THAT OUR LIFE IS LIKE A RIVER THAT  FLOWS GOES TO THE SEA AND FOR CONTINUING TO FLOW WE ENCOUNTER CHALLENGES AND PROBLEMS THAT WE NEED TO  SACRIFICE TO BE ABLE TO SOLVED THE PROBLEMS AND COMPLETE THE CHALLENGES SO THAT WE  ACHIEVE OUR  GOAL IN LIFE..

LIFE IS FULL OF SACRIFICE THAT WE ENCOUNTER BEFORE WE ACHIEVE OUR GOAL..

SO WE NEED NOT TO GIVE UP  EVEN WE ENCOUNTER A LOT OF SACRIFICE IN OUR LIFE..

SO TRY AND TRY UNTIL WE ACHIEVE OUR DREAM

DON'T GIVE UP

 ALWAYS THINK POSITIVE 

WORK HARD 

AND PRAY ALWAYS TO OUR LORD

BECAUSE ALL IS WELL!!..

 SACRIFICE MAKE YOU SUCCESS...